Loss..

They were married for over four years; as every young couple they always carried with them a dream to have children and make a family of there own. However the man upstairs was never kind to them. Two years down their married life; she called him one day, a fine afternoon he remembers she said " I love you; finally I am gonna be a mother". There joy knew no bounds, the waits been long however finally the gift of a child.

Frequent hospital visits and baby journals kept her busy all day; they whispered sweet nothings to the baby in the night, they even started arguments about baby names. It was almost the fourth month; a usual hospital visit it should have been. The waiting all that they could keep thinking in their head was we are gonna hear our babies heart beat. The last time was so special more like the perfect rhythmic music. Those heart beats kept them alive for a month here they were finally time for new rhythms.

The doc finally called them in, usual question and chatting took a few minutes; she was called up to the Scanning table. Probe was probing her stomach line they waited in anticipation to hear a sound which would keep them moving another month. She held his hands tighter. Doc eyes seemed to be asking tons of questions as he kept probing; sudden deafness filled the room, everything seemed so slow. The probing was lasting even longer the doc said I am finding it difficult to hear a heart beat. His heart felt very heavy, he looked at her reassuring her that everything is going to be ok. Finally a small beat filled the emptiness in the room and the doc said "where have you been hiding kiddo?" Tears rolled down her eyes as Doc said " we need to give her some supporting medicines.. heart beats are very faint.. please come in tomorrow for another scan.."

The next 24 hours lasted more like an eternity; they rarely talked. The worried silence spoke more than ever. His reassurance was all that she had. She would just gently pat her stomach as if her fingers were telling her child not to go anywhere. Time seemed like an eternity, each moment felt so lethal. He did seem so brave; when he felt he could not hold on anymore he ran to the rest room; sat on his knees.. tears rolling down his eyes; a pain did he feel that he could not express, his tears did most of the talking.

It was time again; they were the last ones to see the doc; she called them in; tools in place. The doctors search for life was on. She held his hands.. it did not take long for the doc to say the words they did not want to hear " I am sorry".

Tears rolled down her eyes; he had no words to pacify her. All they could do was carry her baby who had no life inside her till the doctors could take the child out of her. The pain... the loss ... had no words.. silence said it all...

The Grand Old Man...

I was breathing heavy with my running and in the distance I saw an old man moving slowly.. all around life was moving so fast yet he moved so slow.. his wrinkled face smiled as often as he could.. I had to look closer to see if he was really smiling.. his smile had a story to tell.. As I approached him in running gear.. I decided to draw a story of his life in my head.. I am usually good Judge of how and who people are.. I looked at the dress he was wearing.. check shirt (white and black).. he had a wooden walking stick (one piece).. no fancy watch.. still had very nice white hair.. his pants seemed rather fine finish.. his sandals was quiet clean and outstanding.. his specs really made his look nice.. what made me study him more was his wrinkles.. rather heavy ones.. a thought pondered in my head.. will I grow to be this old.. his smile was slow but really had something special attached to it.. I thought to myself.. I am going to talk to him.. and see what he really is.. Is he the person who I think he is??

I slowed my pace of running as I came close to him.. walked up to him catching my breathe.. I said "good evening sire".. he looked at me smiled.. a smile so radiant.. "good evening son" he responded.. "Would you mind If I gave you company?" His reply amused me .. " Son do you think you can catch up with me".. interesting I thought... " tell me something about you" he said.. the big mouth that I was started " I am so and so.. I do so and so.. and yadda and yadda.." went on for some time.. he listened patiently as I elaborated my life in front of him.. He never for once lost my words... paid keen attention to all of my words... i finally ended ".. now sire I am really interested in knowing about u"..

He smiled he said proudly " my name is Khan.. professor Khan.. I was a professor in university of Delhi.. been teaching all my life.. I hold a PHD in maths.. " .. my pace of walking slowed and I felt he was moving faster than me... he went on .. " I am father of five children .. 3 sons and 2 daughters... all my children are married .. i am now 76 years old.. I am grateful that I can still walk on my feet.." I could see his wrinkled hands move to tell a story .. I listened gulping at his stories.. I could see his eyes widen as he explained in detail.. several stories associated with his life.. some made me smile.. and some made me feel small.. .. he paused in between to take deep breathes.. my eyes questioned him to go on.. finally I asked him .. " how come in dubai".. he replied " well I stay in an old age home".. he smiled.. " my children are too busy making there lives.." he looked at me.. " they have made it big.. have grand children as well.. came here to celebrate my 76th birthday... it was nice to see all my children together .. have a feeling deep within me this is the last time I am going to see them.. tomorrow I fly back home... not home .. Delhi.. my old age home await me.. a few days for my race in this world to end.. "

I felt my legs feel heavy.. I could not keep up wid his pace.. I felt very heavy.. my heart was so heavy.. I held his hands.. and i said " I will wait for you next year this time.. will you make this walk with me ?" he smiled and moved on .. leaving me behind.. I looked back.. and I felt like I walked long.. my feet just would not let me move.. I sat on the chair beside the walk way.. and watched him walk the walk.. The Green mile looked so close for him and yet so far me..